no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
