He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
