my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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