I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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