I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i have two assholes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize