38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
