Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
