it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize