How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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