if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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