Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.