Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?