I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
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I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.