Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.