Your tits are I can't wait for
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize