the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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