New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
