I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
