she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
