Duck Duck Cougar?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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