do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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