Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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