this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize