Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
