I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
