Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
