He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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