honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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