are you still at the devil's house?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Too much gin, very little bucket
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize