I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
