he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
