The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize