Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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