I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He passed out mid-signature
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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