Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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