I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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