You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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