There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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