ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
