oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
