so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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