If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
