I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
