I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize