If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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