Your face is a jimmy john
You work out of a Hotel?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
