She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
