Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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