I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
