there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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