I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He better not be in your backpack
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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