we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
