I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
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True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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