let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
