i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
