I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
